Wapominhiv is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, unfair squid.

Wapominhiv created dark energy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wapominhiv, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Wapominhiv, she will turn you into a duck.

Wapominhiv's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Wapominhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never write about black holes.

4. Worship no other gods but Wapominhiv.

5. Do not eat beans.