Larnarfhabsid is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, generous hyena.

Larnarfhabsid created Africa nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnarfhabsid, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Larnarfhabsid, she will make you grow a tail.

Larnarfhabsid's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Larnarfhabsid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never talk about comets.

3. Never go into brown rooms.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Larnarfhabsid.