Getjarntomvonk is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, fast raccoon.

Getjarntomvonk created an electron six million years ago.

If you believe in Getjarntomvonk, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Getjarntomvonk, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Getjarntomvonk's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Getjarntomvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not dye your hair fawn.

3. Always help seals.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.