Flapbemcubhab is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, emotional narwhal.

Flapbemcubhab created the planet Venus four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flapbemcubhab, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Flapbemcubhab, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Flapbemcubhab's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Flapbemcubhab's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Flapbemcubhab must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always help badgers in need.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Respect your elders.