App is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, witless cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

App created the Tadpole Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in App, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in App, it will remove you from existence.

App's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

App's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate cats.

2. Put App first in all things.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of App.

4. Feed all hungry otters.

5. Never think ill of sick bats.