Tanyarttip is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, astonishing guinea pig.

Tanyarttip created time and space two million years ago.

If you believe in Tanyarttip, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tanyarttip, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Tanyarttip's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Tanyarttip's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat corn.

2. Always help great tits in need.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate nematodes.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not listen to music.