Yarplipjat is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, duplicitous salamander.

Yarplipjat created the Whirlpool Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarplipjat, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Yarplipjat, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Yarplipjat's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Yarplipjat's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not eat bananas.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not wear indigo clothing.