Veengebhon Larnbotwon is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, quiet hyena.

Veengebhon Larnbotwon created snails four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Veengebhon Larnbotwon, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Veengebhon Larnbotwon, it will turn you into a sheep.

Veengebhon Larnbotwon's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Veengebhon Larnbotwon's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest purple.

2. Never talk about black holes.

3. Veengebhon Larnbotwon loves goats, so they must be honoured.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Veengebhon Larnbotwon.

5. Worship no other gods but Veengebhon Larnbotwon.