Tafpindab is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, loving gorilla.

Tafpindab created the Milkyway seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tafpindab, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tafpindab, it will destroy your home planet.

Tafpindab's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Tafpindab's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

3. Do not take Tafpindab's name in vain.

4. Hide from mauve bats for they are unholy.

5. You must love Tafpindab.