Higtarpquat is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, pitiless grasshopper.

Higtarpquat created water eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Higtarpquat, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Higtarpquat, he will think nothing of it.

Higtarpquat's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Higtarpquat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about foxes.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. You must pray to Higtarpquat seven times a day.

4. Always help shrews in need.

5. Never run in holy places.