Witbimhak is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, benevolent ant.

Witbimhak created a top quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Witbimhak, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Witbimhak, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Witbimhak's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Witbimhak's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Witbimhak loves geese, so they must be honoured.

3. Retreat if five tapirs approach from the west.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.