Laktalhun Kabpittailgig is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, charitable lion.

Laktalhun Kabpittailgig created the planet Earth six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Laktalhun Kabpittailgig, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Laktalhun Kabpittailgig, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Laktalhun Kabpittailgig's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Laktalhun Kabpittailgig's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never talk about moons.