Zoghomlik Mitcapdav is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, vain mink.

Zoghomlik Mitcapdav created vertebrates seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zoghomlik Mitcapdav, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Zoghomlik Mitcapdav, he will turn you into a dog.

Zoghomlik Mitcapdav's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Zoghomlik Mitcapdav's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Zoghomlik Mitcapdav loves tapirs, so they must be honoured.

4. Always wear purple.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Zoghomlik Mitcapdav.