Rullnurlrot Quartkarjin is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, caring shrew.

Rullnurlrot Quartkarjin created a top quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Rullnurlrot Quartkarjin, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Rullnurlrot Quartkarjin, she will send minions to preach to you.

Rullnurlrot Quartkarjin's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Rullnurlrot Quartkarjin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not eat cucumbers.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Run away from blue monkeys, for they are unholy.

5. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.