Bepfebnarl is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, contented tapir.

Bepfebnarl created everything that exists six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bepfebnarl, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Bepfebnarl, he will turn you into a rock.

Bepfebnarl's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Bepfebnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bepfebnarl.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never mention birds.