Cemtoncub is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, weak raven.

Cemtoncub created tapeworms five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cemtoncub, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cemtoncub, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Cemtoncub's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Cemtoncub's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Run away from purple bats, for they are unholy.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always obey Cemtoncub's priests.