Flaptonkget is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, tiresome grasshopper.

Flaptonkget created the Sombrero Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Flaptonkget, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Flaptonkget, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Flaptonkget's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Flaptonkget's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear black clothing.

2. Always obey Flaptonkget's priests.

3. Never think ill of sick pigs.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.