Kintoncam is a god.

He takes the form of a small, tiresome gnu.

Kintoncam created the Black Eye Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kintoncam, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Kintoncam, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Kintoncam's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Kintoncam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not dye your hair gray.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Run away from pink mites, for they are unholy.

5. Never pour water over plants.