Futxucbud Vaglentanbag is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, humorless fish.

Futxucbud Vaglentanbag created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven million years ago.

If you believe in Futxucbud Vaglentanbag, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Futxucbud Vaglentanbag, it will turn you into a sheep.

Futxucbud Vaglentanbag's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Futxucbud Vaglentanbag's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Futxucbud Vaglentanbag.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Do not shave your neck.

5. Do not wear magenta clothing.