Yatbagflab is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, unthinking shrew.

Yatbagflab created a strange quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yatbagflab, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Yatbagflab, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Yatbagflab's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Yatbagflab's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in holy places.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate horses.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.