Fubmetarf Mobbepfarn is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, slow fairy.

Fubmetarf Mobbepfarn created a down quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fubmetarf Mobbepfarn, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fubmetarf Mobbepfarn, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Fubmetarf Mobbepfarn's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Fubmetarf Mobbepfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry eagles.

2. Sharks are not to be trusted.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not run in public.