Fonnaklin is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, dishonourable spider.

Fonnaklin created Mount Everest five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fonnaklin, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fonnaklin, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Fonnaklin's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Fonnaklin's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Fonnaklin.

2. Never talk about planets.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never think ill of sick rats.