Jipwegjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, benevolent finch.

Jipwegjarn created the Cigar Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Jipwegjarn, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jipwegjarn, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Jipwegjarn's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Jipwegjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Never write about moons.

3. Always make sure there are no dogs in a room before entering it.

4. Jipwegjarn must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.