Bimgutbarn is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, amazing clam.

Bimgutbarn created the Large Magellanic Cloud six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bimgutbarn, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Bimgutbarn, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Bimgutbarn's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Bimgutbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention foxes.

2. Hide if five great tits approach from the west.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not wear green clothing.