Kadwapran is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, cheerful monkey.

Kadwapran created the Whirlpool Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Kadwapran, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Kadwapran, he will cry a lot.

Kadwapran's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Kadwapran's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about black holes.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.