Godcatpak is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, overgenerous elephant.

Godcatpak created energy two million years ago.

If you believe in Godcatpak, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Godcatpak, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Godcatpak's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Godcatpak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt foxes.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never wear black skirts.