Yarquimjad is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, deceitful alligator.

Yarquimjad created oxygen seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarquimjad, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Yarquimjad, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Yarquimjad's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Yarquimjad's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always help whales in need.

4. Never paint your face brown.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.