Pibvolhit is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, awesome hippopotamus.

Pibvolhit created a quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pibvolhit, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Pibvolhit, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Pibvolhit's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Pibvolhit's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from black birds for they are unholy.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Pibvolhit.

3. Never run near aardvarks.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate manatees.

5. Always wear magenta.