Parkgemsan is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, two-faced lion.

Parkgemsan created the universe two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Parkgemsan, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Parkgemsan, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Parkgemsan's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Parkgemsan's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt dolphins.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Always treat sharks with great respect.

4. Erect a large silver sculpture of Parkgemsan on top of all buildings.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.