Jatbopcum is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, tiresome bee.

Jatbopcum created a strange quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jatbopcum, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Jatbopcum, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Jatbopcum's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Jatbopcum's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Jatbopcum on top of all buildings.

3. You must pray to Jatbopcum four times a day.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Always obey Jatbopcum's priests.