Lagfosshavyik Tennegyat is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, tranquil coyote.

Lagfosshavyik Tennegyat created gold four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lagfosshavyik Tennegyat, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Lagfosshavyik Tennegyat, she will jump up and down on your head.

Lagfosshavyik Tennegyat's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Lagfosshavyik Tennegyat's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not shave your hands.