Laphubtadvin is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, clever dingo.

Laphubtadvin created the planet Jupiter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Laphubtadvin, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Laphubtadvin, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Laphubtadvin's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Laphubtadvin's Holy Commandments

1. Put Laphubtadvin first in all things.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Feed all hungry birds.

4. Laphubtadvin loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not shave your arms.