Vigsasmiptarg is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, competent monkey.

Vigsasmiptarg created an up quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Vigsasmiptarg, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Vigsasmiptarg, it will turn you into a frog.

Vigsasmiptarg's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Vigsasmiptarg's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate voles.

4. Never think about asteroids.

5. Hide if four manatees approach from the west.