Kikhadvag is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, tranquil spider.

Kikhadvag created matter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Kikhadvag, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Kikhadvag, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Kikhadvag's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Kikhadvag's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about stars.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Erect six silver sculptures of Kikhadvag on top of important buildings.

4. Never jump in holy places.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.