Nilmum is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, two-faced shark.

Nilmum created gold seven million years ago.

If you believe in Nilmum, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Nilmum, it will turn you into a duck.

Nilmum's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Nilmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention tapirs.

2. Do not shave your legs.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.