Beddam is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, overgenerous dugong.

Beddam created the world three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Beddam, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Beddam, he will turn you into a snail.

Beddam's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Beddam's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Beddam.

4. Never wear yellow stockings.

5. Put Beddam first in all things.