Bessbasttof is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, amazing wren.

Bessbasttof created the cosmos nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bessbasttof, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bessbasttof, he will turn you into a duck.

Bessbasttof's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Bessbasttof's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in the presence of shrews.

2. Run away from red gulls, for they are unholy.

3. Sheep are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always make sure there are no pigs in a building before entering it.