Vedgepfommipfid is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, unsympathetic spider.

Vedgepfommipfid created the Sun six million years ago.

If you believe in Vedgepfommipfid, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Vedgepfommipfid, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Vedgepfommipfid's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Vedgepfommipfid's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat seals with great respect.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not commit murder.