Biftargyak is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, duplicitous snail.

Biftargyak created oxygen nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Biftargyak, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Biftargyak, he will turn you into a mole.

Biftargyak's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Biftargyak's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Biftargyak.

2. Never talk about asteroids.

3. Always help bats in need.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Run away if eight ants approach from the west.