Jabdagfud Linved is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, dishonourable horse.

Jabdagfud Linved created life seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jabdagfud Linved, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Jabdagfud Linved, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Jabdagfud Linved's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Jabdagfud Linved's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Hide from cyan goats for they are unholy.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.