Bembellstan is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, amazing whale.

Bembellstan created carbon four years ago.

If you believe in Bembellstan, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bembellstan, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Bembellstan's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Bembellstan's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Feed all hungry dogs.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.