Nullboncudsaf is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, almighty turtle.

Nullboncudsaf created humanity three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nullboncudsaf, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Nullboncudsaf, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Nullboncudsaf's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Nullboncudsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in holy places.

2. Never write about asteroids.

3. Never feed figs to voles while wearing turquoise dresses.

4. Never think ill of sick dogs.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.