Sakdadkar Safmincud is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, irritating alligator.

Sakdadkar Safmincud created humanity three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sakdadkar Safmincud, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Sakdadkar Safmincud, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Sakdadkar Safmincud's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Sakdadkar Safmincud's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat tapirs with great respect.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not eat corn.

4. Never wear trousers.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.