Kan is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, benevolent donkey.

Kan created the planet Mars nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kan, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Kan, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Kan's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Kan's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Erect four aluminium sculptures of Kan on top of important buildings.

3. Kan loves bats, so they must be respected.

4. Do not speak about cucumbers.

5. Fast once a month.