Tifgatfit is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, generous rat.

Tifgatfit created the Small Magellanic Cloud four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tifgatfit, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tifgatfit, he will jump up and down on your head.

Tifgatfit's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Tifgatfit's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tifgatfit.

2. Do not shave your chest.

3. Always wear violet.

4. Do not take Tifgatfit's name in vain.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.