Lanbestjip is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, witty hamster.

Lanbestjip created energy two million years ago.

If you believe in Lanbestjip, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Lanbestjip, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Lanbestjip's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Lanbestjip's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Lanbestjip.

2. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a room before entering it.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.