Hamjatsad is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, compassionate centaur.

Hamjatsad created snails four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hamjatsad, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Hamjatsad, it will be very unhappy.

Hamjatsad's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Hamjatsad's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Hamjatsad on top of all buildings.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Never talk about galaxies.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.