Bisslegkap is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, intelligent dolphin.

Bisslegkap created Europe seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bisslegkap, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bisslegkap, it will turn you into a rock.

Bisslegkap's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Bisslegkap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not skip in public.

2. Never think ill of sick whales.

3. Never run in the presence of swans.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bisslegkap.

5. Do not hurt monkeys.