Flanpodbag is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, pitiless troll.

Flanpodbag created matter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flanpodbag, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Flanpodbag, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Flanpodbag's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Flanpodbag's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from orange grasshopers, for they are unholy.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never look in ponds.