Bamditapp Gepfotlatpod is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, merciful dugong.

Bamditapp Gepfotlatpod created water five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bamditapp Gepfotlatpod, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bamditapp Gepfotlatpod, he will turn you into a puffin.

Bamditapp Gepfotlatpod's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Bamditapp Gepfotlatpod's Holy Commandments

1. Always help squirrels.

2. Never think about moons.

3. Always look after injured snakes.

4. Bamditapp Gepfotlatpod loves dolphins, so they must be honoured.

5. You must pray to Bamditapp Gepfotlatpod six times a day.